I have decided to write a monthly blog of my experiences in caring for my wife who has Alzheimers. But first, some background.
My wife Anne was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease in January 2011. Something that came as a complete surprise to both of us, as Anne was only 55, and to be honest I thought the symptoms were menopausal related.
We had just made the permanent move to our holiday home in Nethy Bridge in April 2010 and to be confronted with this diagnosis was traumatic to say the least. Naturally, our three sons and daughters-in-law shared the trauma with us. Indeed, I remember one of our boys reaction was to ask us when we were returning to Glasgow where we had previously lived.
We made a decision to be completely open with friends and family about our situation, and on reflection that was absolutely the right decision. Why? Well, as the years have passed, and many people have journeyed with us as Anne has deteriorated, we have been so blessed with the care and support that at times has been overwhelming. When you look at the evils of the world and the capability of human beings to inflict suffering on each other, I am constantly reminded of the capacity of human beings to perform acts of great kindness, care and love.
During 2011 we lived "normal" lives doing what we had always done - holidays abroad, walking, visiting family and grandchildren, becoming active in our new community and local church. There were many times during 2011 that I forgot about Anne's diagnosis. Did she really have Alzheimers?
But gradually things began to change, particularly with Anne's ability to communicate. Now, she very rarely will initiate a conversation and my current life as her carer can be very solitary. To be honest, for all practical purposes, I realised that our relationship had changed significantly during 2015. Our marriage relationship had become a relationship of carer and "patient". Up until that point, Anne's deterioration had been slow and gradual.
Then midway through 2015 there was a step change in her deterioration. There was very little communication, she was occasionally incontinent, she started to lose weight, she no longer knew my name, and she would simply sit around doing nothing.
I suppose this was the time I really felt a bit vulnerable and emotional.
Since 2015, my experience has been that this cruel disease can, at times, lull you into a false sense of security. Weeks and months can go by with no real deterioration, then bang - something happens that you have not noticed before - and instead of these early years of gentle deterioration, we have entered a phase where there are these step changes in Anne's condition.
So, that's the background to a life living with a loved one who has Alzheimers.
Next month, I will post a more detailed blog on what has been happening since the start of 2017.
aye
Gordon
