A few weeks ago I had a visit from my best man whom I had not seen in over 20 years. We chatted and laughed as we told each other stories from our past. Both of us had been big pranksters in our late teens and early twenties, so we had much to remember.
A common phrase that afternoon was, "Do you remember....", and it was so good to reminisce as another common phrase was "Ah, yes I remember that."
After he left, I was forcibly struck by the contrasting experience I had just had, and the experience of Anne. Not only has she no short term memory, but what many don't realise about Alzheimer's is that eventually there is no long term memory either. Anne is at that stage.
She can very occasionally remember something but it will only be in the recent past. As we get older, we have a rich repository of memories, some bad and many good ones and it is hard to accept that Anne's memory has been effectively wiped away.
Despite the memory loss there is a new positive experience for Anne, and this happens when she sees her reflection in a mirror.
I am absolutely convinced that she does not recognise who she sees in the mirror, but her face lights up, smiling as she attempts to communicate with the "other" person. She will get quite animated and point and it appears to me that she gets extremely joyful when the person she sees does exactly the same as her. It is like watching a young child experiencing a mirror for the first time.
Most of us don't like what we see in the mirror (or are at least indifferent), so if there any upsides to Alzheimer's this is a rare one.
Let me conclude this month's blog with a very rare event that happened yesterday. Anne was in our car with me, and occasionally I will see her looking over at me and I will return her gaze and ask her if she is ok. However, something dramatic happened yesterday.....something that I will remember for a long time, something that I will not need another person to ask me, "Do you remember....".
I sensed Anne looking at me as I was driving, I turned and before I could ask her if she was ok, she smiled and said three words I have not heard in at least 3 years......I LOVE YOU!
I don't know if you have driven a car at 70mph with your eyes welling up, but I don't recommend it.
At times, living with Alzheimer's can be an overwhelmingly negative experience, but just when you least expect it, a miracle of wonder and joy comes your way.
until next month
aye
Gordon
