No tears this month!!
I am writing this blog from 30000 feet on my return from a week's holiday in Spain. I was invited out by two special friends whom Anne and I met in Spain a few years ago. Anne has been staying with one of her sisters.
However, the arrangement for Anne's respite care was not without its stresses and strains. At 1pm, a few days before my scheduled departure to Spain, I got a call from the care home, where Anne was scheduled to stay, to inform me that they had a flu outbreak and Anne would not be allowed to come. I was to contact social services to see if there was any other alternatives.
At that point my world fell apart. The holiday that I had been so looking forward to was slipping away from me.
To be fair, social services got to work on the problem, but you can imagine that the options would be very limited given the short notice. At 4pm that same day I got a call to say there was a care home in Pitlochry that could take Anne, but I declined the offer because I think Anne would have been quite unsettled not recognising anyone.
So, my wonderful family came to my rescue - between one of our immediate families and one of Anne's sisters and her husband, they offered to take care of Anne.
I cannot praise our family highly enough. You hear of families where relationships are strained, and I am so grateful that I have a family at the complete opposite end of that spectrum. I am so well supported!!
While away, I found it interesting that I didn't think about Anne too much. Perhaps this was because she was being cared for by family and not the care home, or perhaps I had simply learnt to switch off, live in the moment, and enjoy great company, great weather and great accommodation.
One thing that I overcame was the uncomfortable feeling I felt while socialising with other couples. I had experienced a lack of confidence when I attended a wedding on my own some months ago. This time, I felt very much at ease chatting with other couples whom I had never met before. Perhaps that wedding experience was a one-off.
During my week in the sun, I read a couple of books about people's experience of walking the Camino de Santiago in Spain. It is a pilgrimage to the tomb of St James in Santiago De Compostelo that runs for around 500 miles. A seed has been sown in my mind about attempting this once Anne is in residential care or has passed away. The idea of walking 500 miles (the Proclaimers' song comes to mind!!) as a pilgrimage has a strong appeal to me, but who knows how I will feel when either of these two events happen.
And so I return home fully recharged to continue to care for Anne.
As I was driving to pick Anne up, I wondered if she would recognise me. A few months ago, it took some time for her to recognise me when I had been away for a few days. But I was so encouraged that when I walked through the door she instantly knew who I was and smiled ..... the ebbs and flows of living with Alzheimer's.
until next month
aye,
Gordon
