March 2017

March 2017


Many thanks to all who have been in touch since my first blog - it has been very encouraging to be reminded that, in human terms, I am not alone. I say in human terms, because somewhat surprisingly,  my Christian faith has not been shaken as I attempt to care for Anne. I thought I would have doubts about God, but I don't. While I do not have an answer as to why this should have happened to Anne (and me) I can honestly say that I still trust in my heavenly Father.

It was towards the end of 2016 that I took the plunge and contacted Social Services about the possibility of Anne receiving day care. Our GP had recommended this during 2015 but somehow I felt reluctant, as I knew it would be a very significant outward sign of Anne's deterioration. Was I still in denial? I don't think so, but I definitely saw this as another phase in her deterioration.

We often hear the negative side of Social Services in the media, but hopefully this blog will provide a small rebalancing of that perception. Within 3 weeks of making the phone call, Anne started her one day a week visit to the Glen Centre in Aviemore. I cannot praise Social Services high enough!

I remember her first day so well. She was picked up at our home by a carer from the Centre, I bid them farewell, Anne never looked back, I went back into the house and burst into tears. It was like seeing off your first child on the first day of school. How would Anne get on? Would she be ok in the minibus to the Centre? Would she be distressed in a strange environment without me? Would she enjoy the food? When she returned I was astonished by how happy she was. While she couldn't articulate what had happened on her first day, it was clear she had been well looked after and enjoyed her time. Since then her experience of that first day has been repeated every week. Every time she sees the minibus outside our house, she almost runs out the front door. A regular highlight is getting her nails painted!

The last few months have been relatively steady, although I have noticed that Anne is increasingly unresponsive. However, we enjoyed a weeks holiday in Norfolk with Anne's sister and husband. In new environments it can be unsettling for Anne, but with people she is familiar with she coped remarkably well.

However, recently she has become increasingly anxious. Even in what was previously familiar surroundings she is getting more anxious. We go to a fitness class twice a week and getting her into the exercise area is becoming a challenge. Up until now, Anne loved being with people but I wonder if this is the start of her withdrawing from social situations. Time will tell if this is another step change in her deterioration.

I was upset this week when I informed Anne of the arrival of our 8th grandchild. There was very little response when I told her that we had another grandson. What was a joyous occasion was met with a blank stare and I struggled to cope with her lack of reaction. Even showing photos of the baby did not stir a reaction. But this morning, I told Anne that we would be visiting our new grandson and I asked her if she could remember his name. To my amazement, she looked straight at me and said, "Harris", which is the name of our new grandson.

And so I have learnt something today - while there are no visible signs of absorption of information that doesn't mean it is not happening. Despite the very negative experiences of living with Alzheimer's I felt uplifted on hearing just one word - "Harris".

Hopefully, when Anne holds our new grandson we will be greeted with the smile that I fell in love with 40 years ago!

More to follow next month.